sugar and spice this Inuyasha ain’t right!
by Forever14
Summary: It’s an out of the ordinary day in Feudal Japan when Sesshomaru kidnaps Kagome! Will Inuyasha get close to Kikyo? Sango and Miroku getting’ tipsy at…Starbucks? Is Shippo the next Austin Powers? This ain’t any normal Inuyasha fanfic songfic!
1. Shouldn't we go after her?

Disclaimers: We are not disclaimers, my cuz and I are real people. You probably have heard this a million times but we must say it again. We do NOT own Inuyasha (NO shit Sherlock! oo''). For all those people who want to own or better, "think" they own Inuyasha, can, but unless you have millions and trillions of dollars (which I am guessing you don't have) I suggest you put the disclaimer on your story. We also do not own the songs and movie quotes we just made...adjustments to them. Remember... disclaimers are our friends! Lol, enjoy da story! PLEEZ REVIEW!

Chapter One- "Shouldn't we go after her?"

It was a sunny day in feudal Japan. The morning had a faint mist, the sky was clear, the tress were blowing softly in the wind and then off in the distance you could hear...

"**SIT BOY**!" Kagome said her arms folded across her chest, her face hot red. "What was that for?!!" Inuyasha said trying to get up after hitting the ground with much force. Kagome walked up to him. She glared at him and said, "For implying that I loved Hojo!! For your information I don't. He's just a boy from my school who I have a math project with!" Inuyasha sat up. "Feh! Yeah and I just magically saw you and this guy holding hands!" Inuyasha said giving a dirty look to Kagome. Shippo popped out of nowhere and leaned against a tree. "Why do you care so much if you don't ever like her?" Shippo said looking innocently at Inuyasha.

**Awkward Silence**

_Whack! _ Inuyasha hit Shippo over his head. "Inuyasha..." Kagome said sweetly "No! Please! I meant that hit in the best possible way! Wait..." but before he could finish Kagome said, "**SIT**!" **_Thump!_** "Damm you Kagome!" Inuyasha said

"Inuyasha. I hear something." Miroku said grabbing his staff. Inuyasha looked around he sniffed and then he muttered one word, "Sesshomaru." He was about to grab his Tetsusaiga then something jumped from the tree. "Hello little brother." Sesshomaru said smiling. "Surrender the Tetsusaiga to me or face the consequences!" "Sure! Okay buddy! I'll just give you the Tetsusaiga! Yeah what ever." Inuyasha said sarcastically. "Fine have it your way!" Sesshomaru said. He dashed straight for Kagome as fast as lightning, grabbing her by her collar and tripped her so she landed on her butt. "Let her down you bastard! Come back here Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha started. "When you are willing to give me the Tetsusaiga, I will give back the girl." Sesshomaru walked away with Kagome trashing in his grasp. "Kagome! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**5 minuets later**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Give her back Sesshomaru!" Sango stared blankly at Kagome who could be seen still trying to get away from Sesshomaru. Sango thought for a minute, then said, "Inuyasha...SHOULDN'T WE GO AFTER HER???!!!!!" In the distance you could still see Sesshomaru with Kagome, who was practically dead from trying to escape from Sesshomaru. Inuyasha put his fist up in the air and said, "Damn you Sesshomaru, Damn you!!!!!!!", even while Sesshomaru was still dragging Kagome away.

**In the mean time...**

In the mean time Rin was waiting with Jaken. "Croken, Where is Master Sesshomaru?" Rin asked looking around impatiently. "My name is Jaken! I do not know the whereabouts of Master Sesshomaru?" Jaken said shifting side to side. "Stop lying Kermit! I know what you did with Miss Piggy last summer!!" Rin said winking at Jaken. "What?!??!?!? What do you mean?" Jaken said looking nervous. Rin gave him "the look".

"FINE! I'll tell you but you promise you must not tell Master Sesshomaru! He went to kidnap that human girl!" Jaken said "WHAT??!!?!? HE DID WHAT! WHY DID HE KIDNAPP HER???" Rin said looking like she was about to cry. "I do not know. Master Sesshomaru said he needed her for something special. Are you ok Rin?" Jaken asked looking at her. She looked like she was dead. "Um, Rin? Are you ok?? " Jaken said backing away. Out of nowhere, little animals came surrounding Rin. Rin got up and started singing...

**(TUNE TO HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME BY BRITNEY SPEARS ; ) **

**Oh baby baby**

**Oh baby baby (little animals started doing hip-hop moves)  
Oh baby baby  
How was I supposed to know  
that somethin' wasn't right hereoh baby baby**

**I shouldn't have let you go  
You took the older girl, yeah  
Show me  
how you want it to be  
tell me baby  
'cause I need to know now  
oh, because  
**

**My loneliness  
Is killing me (and I)  
I must confess  
I still believe (still believe)  
When I'm not with you I lose my mind  
give me a sign  
I wish his age would be like mine**

Rin was dancing and at the end, then she came to a sudden stop. "Rin..." Jaken said nervously. Her head was lowered. Suddenly her head shot right up. She eyes were red and she looked like the girl from the exorcist. She then said, "I will find that half breed, I will kill that Monk, and I will slay that demon slayer, I will find my Master but when I reach my destination I will **KILL BILL!**" "What did you say?" asked Jaken. "What? Oh I meant KAGOME. Stupid Quentin Tarantino!" She grabbed Jaken and started dragging him across the field...


	2. Shippo Becomes A Man! Very shagadelic, b...

Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha OR Starbucks or the songs and movie quotes heheheh. What is a disclaimer? When I looked in my dictionary and put it into ma own words it meant:

"Denial of any relationship with the data of the area of interest presented" (oooooo big words) For those of you who do not understand it basically means...

"IF ITS NOT FRIGIN' YOURS DON'T SAY IT IS!"

hehehehe! Enjoy the story!!! PLEEZ REVIEW THANK-U TO THE PPL THAT DID! LUVS IT!

Chapter 2-Shippo Becomes A Man! Very shagadelic, baby!

The moon was glistening, the trees were blowing gently in the breeze, the sky was pitch black and in the distance you could hear...

"INNNNUUUUUUUUUUUYYYASHAAAA!!!" Kagome said screaming but Sesshomaru had whacked here over the head. But shutting up was not something Kagome liked to do when being kidnapped by Inuyasha's evil brother. _What shall I do! _She thought_. Maybe I should do what Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie does. What they do is very annoying... _She opened her mouth again but this time she said "SalsaSalsa SalsaSalsa" _What the hell? What was this worthless human trying to do?_ Sesshomaru thought. He smacked her over the head. She was getting too annoying and he was getting a headache. He needed to take a break. Sesshomaru jumped through the trees and he landing in a clearing. He tied her to a tree. "Wha..what are you going to do with me!" Kagome said shaking. "You'll see!" He said smiling. Kagome started to get scared. "Are you going to rape me!?!?" She said scared to death. "NO!! ARE YOU SICK???" Sesshomaru said angrily. "I thought you were perverted! So sue me. In every episode when I'm bathing, Inuyasha always looks at me, so I thought you would too." Kagome said. "WHAT!?!??! DO I LOOK PERVERTED TO YOU??!?!?!!" Sesshomaru said.

**Owl hoots, and cricket chirps it the background **

"Well..." Kagome started. "Stupid human," Sesshomaru muttered under his breath. "Wait a minute... you already have this extremely powerful sword which is stronger than Tetsuiga, a sword which can stop death, AND a frog so why do you want Tetsuiga???" "Well... um, er, looks around nervously...you shut up!" Sesshomaru said smacking her across the head yet again. Kagome attempted to kick Sesshomaru in the crotch, but was too far to do any real damage. Sesshomaru realized what she was attempting to do and smacked her across her head, at which this point Kagome thought she was going to get a concussion with all the smacks across her head. Kagome wished Inuyasha would rescue her from this freak. Or rather she _hoped._

In the distance, Inuyasha and the gang were trying to think of a plan. "I wonder where he'd take her?" Sango wondered. "Hmmmmm... I don't remember Sesshomaru having any secret base. Maybe we can wing it?" Miroku exclaimed. " Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow GRRRRRR!" Kilala meowed. Everyone blankly stared at Kilala for 5 minutes. "Oh I know what she said," Sango exclaimed. Everyone stared at Sango for 5 minutes. "Um, why haven't any of us said anything in the last 10 minutes?" Everyone stared at Shippo for the next 10 minutes. "HELLO! SESSHOMARU RAN OFF WITH KAGOME AND WE'RE STANDING HERE STARING AT EACH OTHER!" Inuyasha yelled, breaking the staring cycle. Everyone was about to stare at Inuyasha but realized Sesshomaru might be already at his secret base with Kagome. "Okay guys! Here's the plan. Sango, you go with Miroku and, Sango, make sure he doesn't grope any ladies on the way." Miroku smiled and Sango glared at him, giving him the evil eye."Shippo will look around here with Kilala, and I will go on my own, perfecting and learning new skills, killing all the demons, and saving the day, like I do in every single episode!!! Everyone okay with that?!?!" Inuyasha said. Sango and Miroku looked around mumbling a yes. "Can I come with you Inuyasha?" Shippo asked giving Inuyasha puppy eyes. "No you'll just slow me down, and besides you're too young to be going by yourself." Inuyasha said. "How about you guys? Can I go with you? Please Sango?" Shippo asked Sango and Miroku. "I'd let you come, but Miroku (looking at Miroku seriously) will do many... things... to people, and you're to young to witness them." Sango explained to Shippo. "Well it's never to late to-" Miroku started before Sango's hand swiftly met with Miroku's cheek. "Sorry Shippo," Miroku said. "That's ok..." Shippo gloomily said walking away. The group then separated and each went off into their own direction.

While Inuyasha was thinking of a way to get Kagome back, an unknown figure was watching him... that figure was Kikyo. "Oh my sweet, naive Inuyasha. Yes, my soul may be composed of my pure _hatred_ for you, and yes I've always wanted to kill you, but now for some strange, supernatural reason, I love you! Why? I don't know, I didn't write this fanfic! Where was I again? Oh ya! Soon, very soon Inuyasha, you and I will be together forever in Hell! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

"Its not fair!" Shippo said pouting "Then why don't you try to act mature?" Kilala said. "Kilala...YOU CAN TALK!!!" Shippo said. "Well, duh," Kilala said sarcastically. "What do you mean act mature?" Shippo said. "You know, like try to act older." "Umm...maybe I should try a new personality like the one from Kagome's movies. What's his name? Austin Powers, I think. Oh well! I'll be back in 5 minutes with a new personality. Wait one minute." Shippo said bouncing off into a bush. _There is a lesson he must learn but I will not tell him. _Kilala thought. _Er, I have a bad feeling about this "Austin Power" thing..._

5 minutes later

Kilala was quietly waiting for Shippo to come back, when all of the sudden Shippo came out of the bushes saying, "You're switched on ! You're smashing ! You're shagadelic, baby yeah!!" "Ohhh-maa-godd! What have I done!" Kilala said screaming. "Do I make you horny baby? Well do I?!" Shippo said. "OMG! I have got to change you back before Kagome comes back!! AND NO YOU DO NOT MAKE ME HORNY!!!!" "Au contraire baby, you can't resist me," Shippo said in an Austin Power's accent. "Come on Shippo we have to find Kagome! AND STOP ACTING LIKE THAT" "Oh groovy baby!" Shippo said winking at Kilala. "Come on Kilala baby, you can be honest. Do I make you horny baby? Do I? Do I make you _randy?"_ Kilala backed away from Shippo. "Just get on Shippo." "Smashing baby!" Shippo jumped on Kilala's back and they flew off.

"Miroku, on this trip I ask you to please behave!" Sango said looking fiercely at him. "I will." Miroku said. "I'll try that is..." Miroku said under his breath devilishly. Ever since Sango and Miroku had started the journey Miroku had been caressing her behind and asking her to bear his child (Although whether Sango liked it or not, me and my cuz aren't sure D). "When we left Shippo, he was kind of mad, I really feel sorry for him!" Sango said in a sympathetic voice. "Oh well, he'll just have to learn how to be a man (no pun intended,lol)." Miroku said folding his arms. "Yeah, learn how to be a man." Sango mumbled giving dirty looks to Miroku. "Sango...I know why you told Shippo he can't come..." Miroku said gently "What? Why?" Sango said confused " Because... you wanted us to be alone." Miroku said sweetly. "Ya right, you wish," Sango said rolling her eyes. "Sango?" Miroku said quietly " What is it?" Sango said, having a feeling that something was coming " Will you bear my child?" Miroku asked innocently. "NO!!!" Sango said getting her hand into slapping position. "Now Sango, it's ok if you want to...." Miroku went on as his handed sneaked down to Sango's butt. Sango blushed furiously and slapped Miroku. "Don't touch my butt again you perverted freak!!!!" _Don't worry, she'll come around..., _thought Miroku. After a few hours of walking and searching and...groping, Sango and Miroku were feeling very thirsty. "Lets take a break, there's a STARBUCKS near by." Miroku said wiping the sweat off of his forehead. "Starbucks?!?! I thought that was only in Kagome's time!!" Sango said in disbelief. "Starbucks.....they're EVERYWHERE!" Miroku said in a scarce whisper. The couple came to a sudden stop and entered a Starbuck's café. "What's this?" Sango said pointing at the Mocha Latté. "Oh its coffee." Miroku said stepping up to the counter. "What does it do?" Sango questioned. "Oh nothing really." Miroku said (okay buddy) "May I have one Mocha Latté for Sango and one Cappuccino for me?" Miroku asked the lady. She had perfect brown hair with perfect hazel eyes and she looked like a Barbie. "Of course Ken." she said. "What did you call me?" "Oh my bad sir," The Barbie like waitress said winking. "Mam, May I be permitted to ask a question?" Miroku said leaning closer "Yes what is it?" She said blushing. "Will you bear my child?" Miroku said boldly "What? Oh...um...I...I don't knowgiggle giggle..." The waitress said. She leaned closer and said, "Maybe later". "Miroku, let's just eat..." Sango said while pulling Miroku away.

after awhile

"Here's your Mocha Latté and one Cappuccino," the lady said handing them their drinks. "Drink up Sango." Miroku said. Sango took a sip, then another, then another. "WOW THAT'S GOOD!!" Sango said happily jumping up and down in her seat. "Uh-Oh!" Miroku said. "I feel like dancing!! OH YA!! GIVE IT TO ME BABY YEAAHHH!" Sango said getting up running around Starbucks. "Sango dear sit down..." Miroku said trying to calm her but she didn't listen. Does everyone get like this when they drink their first Mocha Latté? Miroku thought. "Please Sango..." he said but still no reply. Without warning Sango jumped up on one of the tables and started singing and dancing. The perfect waitress and other waitresses joined her and started dancing. They started to sing...

Toxic by Britney Spears

(do-dododo-do-dodo-dododo)

There's no escape  
I can't wait  
I need a hit  
Baby, give me it  
You're dangerous  
I'm lovin' it

It's getting late  
To give it up  
I took a sip  
From my devil cup  
Slowly  
It's taking over me  
  
Too high  
Can't come down  
It's in the air  
And it's all around  
Can you feel me now  
  
With a taste on my lips  
I'm on a ride  
it's toxic  
I'm slipping under  
With a taste of poison paradise

I'm addicted to this  
Don't you know that it's toxic  
And I love what it does

Don't you know that it's toxic

"Oh NO!! What have I done! Sango is drunk on COFFEE! Wait a minute...this is my perfect opportunity to hit on Sango without her slapping me! OH YA!" Miroku said getting up on a different table. He moved into the middle of the dance floor(table whatever) and some other waiters came out of nowhere and started to dance around Miroku. Then Miroku sang...

(Shook by Sean Desman)

(Oh yeah)

This girl she got me shook  
With her pretty black eyes, sexy little butt  
The way she moves just gets to me  
She keeps shakin that thing, she's making me sing  
She got just what I like  
Every day of the week, my baby's so sweet  
Come over here and turn off the lights  
We'll do it all night, her game is so tight  
This girl she got me shook

On my way to catch Kagome  
Nothing was right to say  
Better get her before eight  
Cause time is ticking and its late  
Look around trying to find her  
Me and ma gurl Sango  
I start walking and look beside, next to me this girl she blew my mind  
Can't concentrate, feeling sweaty, getting butterflies, getting dizzy  
Gotta keep it cool, gotta keep it slick, and remember she's just a chick  
Tell me what is this I feel inside, never felt this way before all right  
But I gotta keep it real tonight

This girl she got me shook  
With her pretty black eyes, sexy little butt  
The way she moves just gets to me  
She keeps shakin that thing, she's making me sing  
She got just what I like  
Every day of the week, my baby's so sweet  
Come over here and turn off the lights  
We'll do it all night, her game is so tight  
This girl she got me shook...

At the end of the song Miroku and Sango rested , both tired from dancing. Just goes to show you what might happen in a Starbucks near YOU...


	3. Author's Note Please Read

**Author's Note**

Heyy pple! Srry we haven't been updating as much as we should but, we've been so busy lately! Me and ma cuz have had test, exams and essays due in the last few months! But don't be discouraged! I have finished ma big report and ma cuz has finished most of his test so another fanfic is on the way, **very soon**.

By the way I always refer say my "cuz and I" so think I should tell u who we are. I am Chantelle (Chawny for short) and ma cuz is Max (Freshy). We've been kind of lazy with our profile so this is just a quick intro to who we are.

PS. Can anyone tell me what the short forms for the fan fictions mean example: AU, Lemon, Lime, Fluff etc?

Thanks pple and keep reading


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